Pandora's Boy: Flavia Albia 6 (Falco: The New Generation)
Contents
Also by Lindsey Davis
Title Page
Copyright
Map
Characters
Rome: the Quirinal Hill, October AD 89
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Author’s afternote: the Min Challenge
If you enjoyed Pandora’s Boy, you’ll love The Third Nero
Also by Lindsey Davis
The Course of Honour
Rebels and Traitors
Master and God
A Cruel Fate
THE FALCO SERIES
The Silver Pigs
Shadows in Bronze
Venus in Copper
The Iron Hand of Mars
Poseidon’s Gold
Last Act in Palmyra
Time to Depart
A Dying Light in Corduba
Three Hands in the Fountain
Two for the Lions
One Virgin too Many
Ode to a Banker
A Body in the Bath House
The Jupiter Myth
The Accusers
Scandal Takes a Holiday
See Delphi and Die
Saturnalia
Alexandria
Nemesis
THE FLAVIA ALBIA SERIES
The Ides of April
Enemies at Home
Deadly Election
The Graveyard of the Hesperides
The Third Nero
The Spook Who Spoke Again
Vesuvius by Night
Falco: The Official Companion
www.hodder.co.uk
First published in Great Britain in 2018 by Hodder & Stoughton
An Hachette UK company
Copyright © Lindsey Davis 2018
The right of Lindsey Davis to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library
ISBN 978 1 473 65865 3
Hodder & Stoughton Ltd
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CHARACTERS
Flavia Albia an intuitive investigator
T. Manlius Faustus her husband, expects her to be psychic
Dromo their slave, hopeless
Laia Gratiana a manipulative visitor
Salvius Gratus her brother, a corporation man
Glaucus a thoughtful athlete
M. Didius Falco an honest auctioneer (caveat emptor)
Scorpus I Cohort, seen it all
Julius Karus special assignment: watching
Iucundus an intense lover of life
Paris his laid-back runabout
Mamillianus a respected lawyer
Statia his wife, a private treasure
Vestis her maid
Volumnius Firmus a professional mediator
Sentia Lucretia his estranged wife
Clodia Volumnia their dead daughter, full of promise
P. Volumnius Auctus their absent son, a disappointment
Volumnia Paulla a heavyweight grandmother, on the offensive
Marcia Sentilla another one, defendant in a domestic dispute
Chryse a trustworthy maid
Dorotheus a busy slave, wounded
Rubria Theodosia/‘Pandora’ a fashionable herbalist, hearing voices
Meröe and Kalmis purveyors of magical radiance
Polemaena a forceful underling
A fruiterer seen nothing, saying nothing
Anthos and Neo can’t pay? Heard it all before
Old Rabirius ever-present, rarely seen, a gangster
Balbina Milvia somebody’s daughter, husband abroad
Veronica somebody’s mother, husband travelling
Dedu a greengrocer who advertises divinely
Min his marketing tool
Numerius Cestinus the stoical rejected suitor (moving on)
Cluvius a born leader (he says)
Granius a prankster, nice moustache (he thinks)
Popilius in more trouble than he knows
Sabinilla the well-groomed trouble he is in
Redempta her best friend, absolutely
Ummidia the quiet one
‘Martialis’ her fencing trainer
Anicia somebody’s girlfriend (but whose?)
‘Trebo’ a mysterious unknown
Vincentius Theo a charmer, with a legal bent (bent?)
Parents and other relatives mindless offspring, murky pasts, buying off trouble
Falaecus top functionary at Fabulo’s, no comment
Fundus a waiter, first day, everything all right, sir?
Fornax a chef, cooking up his escape
Fornix a new identity
Menenius a helpful doctor
A dog hopeful
lettuce glaucous
Rome: the Quirinal Hill,
October AD 89
1
When my husband’s ex-wife came offering me work, I knew she was up to something. She had left him alone for ten years after she divorced him, but as soon as he started falling for me, back she came like a stubborn smell. He always made out she had been justified in leaving him, but that was horse dung. His break from her was a stroke of luck.
I knew he felt guilty that he had not invited Laia to our wedding. I did not. Today I would have pretended not to be at home, but he chose to let her in. Tiberius could be so fair-minded th
at if I had had an iron skillet to hand I would have brained him. Fortunately for him I don’t often cook and the housekeeper we had on trial had left us, so nobody was wielding pans in our house. Instead I supplied bread and cheese for most meals, which is why cheeses and loaves exist in my opinion.
Given time, I would find new staff. Then I could concentrate on our start-up family business and on my own career. Unfortunately, my work had given my predecessor her excuse to visit us. I was an informer, conducting investigations for private clients. The lofty ex was not hiring me herself, just trying to manipulate me; what she wanted would be with somebody else, and a mismatch as I saw it.
I offered no refreshments to Laia Gratiana; I would sooner give her warts. Impervious, she sat in our reception room looking well-dressed and smug, while Tiberius Manlius politely agreed that the story his old wife related seemed intriguing. It sounded dud to me. She was a rich, snooty blonde, and I loathed her. She and I would never form a good working relationship; I could not imagine getting along any better with her friends.
‘Could be interesting, Albia,’ ventured Tiberius, though he was on dangerous ground.
‘Could be ghastly.’ I like to be frank.
He grinned. I might have softened up, but he had included Laia in the grin.
Normally I welcomed his advice. He gave his opinion in the stern way you would expect from a magistrate, then left me to make up my own mind. Had we been on our own, we would have wrangled over me spurning Laia’s commission, but in front of her we would look harmonious.
‘There should be a good fee.’ Tiberius, a true plebeian and now in charge of a building firm, was used to rapid costings when sizing up jobs.
I admit we were short of funds, yet however ‘intriguing’ Laia’s case might appear, I would not work for her. I would not give her the satisfaction. Even so, I understood why Tiberius felt curious. If anyone else had brought me this puzzle I would have jumped at it.
A young girl had been found dead in bed. Her father believed she had been poisoned by a love-potion. Her mother denied it, claiming their daughter died of a broken heart because the cruel papa had rejected the young man she wanted. A doctor declined to comment on either possible cause. That’s doctors. They see death every day and always seem surprised it has happened.
Things then grew nasty. The opposing grandmothers came to blows in the atrium. When a slave tried to separate the two of them, his arm was broken. Now the mother-in-law was being sued by her son-in-law for damaging his slave, a dispute aggravated by suggestions that she had helped in acquiring the supposed love-potion. That carried a whiff of witchcraft. People were saying it was in the public interest to uncover any use of magic, a subject that always caused intense excitement in Rome. The mother-in-law was banned from the house, and took the girl’s mother with her. Nobody was sure whether this was an official divorce, but the father called it enticement and blustered that he did not have to return the dowry. That made the mother even more angry than when he had blamed her for their child’s death.
The agitated father called in the vigiles; these neighbourhood deadbeats maintained they saw no evidence of foul play. They ignored the witchcraft idea. Too much paperwork. Perhaps in reality the burly law-and-order lads were scared of witches.
Papa raised his complaint to a higher level, summoning the Urban Cohorts. Nobody else would do any such thing, but that was the sort of family he headed up: fearlessly involving as many officials as possible. Never known to be diligent, the Urbans sent a runner who sniffed around then disappeared, despite the warring grannies; he ignored their catfight even though it could have been defined as a civil riot, something the Urban Cohorts were specifically set up to suppress, normally with horrible violence.
Next, the idiot householder went even further: he petitioned the Praetorian Guards. Luckily, they declined to attend. Most were tied up with the Emperor on manoeuvres in Pannonia, while any of the commissariat left behind in Rome were going crazy as they arranged a Triumph for when our glorious ruler returned.
If the father was as daft as he sounded, he would now appeal to the Emperor. Involving Domitian could be a death sentence for everyone. Perhaps you start to see why I was opposed to being drawn in.
‘Why, anyway, was a love-potion suspected?’ Tiberius asked Laia Gratiana. ‘Did the lad the girl fancied not wish to be lusted after?’
‘Well that’s what your clever little wife has to find out!’ retorted Laia, sounding petulant as she worked through his syntax. Clearly, she had never thought to ask the question. I saw exactly what he meant. Why had the girlie herself swallowed a potion, if she knew what she wanted but her boyfriend was the one shying away? She ought to have sent the vial to him instead. Men will drink anything; just say it will make them virile. They will deny they need it, then take a crafty swig when you are not looking.
‘My clever wife will have to decide whether she wants the case. Incidentally, you shouldn’t call Flavia Albia “little” if you intend to keep your teeth.’
Thanks, loyal husband. Tiberius and I had been married a month, despite the gods having struck him down on our wedding day with a bolt of lightning.
I am not joking. Laia must really be kicking herself that she was not at our wedding. Its thrills had even been reported in the Daily Gazette. We know how to throw a party.
‘Well, of course she must take the case,’ purred Laia, ignoring his comment about keeping her teeth. To me, that demonstrated why they had not survived as man and wife. I, on the other hand, tipped a finger at him, to let him know I had noticed. The bad boy smiled again, though this time just for me. His ex carried on, all unawares: ‘This is the kind of conundrum that darling Flavia adores.’
I was not Laia Gratiana’s darling, she had no idea what kind of work I liked, nor even what I really did – and no one calls me Flavia. That compliment to the Emperor was dumped on me as part of a tricky citizenship claim. It obtained me a grubby diploma that said I had Roman birth, but it put me on a par with Imperial freedwomen and ambitious foreigners. Even my diploma was stamped by the governor of a very obscure province. All my relatives tease me over this.
Laia Gratiana’s true opinion of my skills was low, but I saw what her game was. The events under discussion happened in the Quirinal district. She wanted me to leave home and exhaust myself with somebody else’s domestic dispute on the far side of Rome. Her motive was transparent. If she couldn’t have Tiberius, I should not have him either. Laia Gratiana never saw me as a rival; she just wanted to be spiteful against him.
‘No, thanks.’ I kept it professional. ‘A dead fifteen-year-old is always sad to hear about – so much lost potential, it’s very unfortunate – but family tragedies can turn too ugly. It’s not worth the fee. That’s assuming they ever pay up – though you’d be surprised how fast feuding couples resolve their differences and unite when faced with an invoice for time-charges and expenses.’
‘Try asking for payment in advance,’ advised Laia, at her most patronising.
‘Standard practice.’ I was terse.
‘Well, I’m sure you can’t afford to turn away business.’ Laia, who only condescended to spend her own energy in community good works, made out that no respectable woman would ever involve herself in something people paid for. Since informers are tracked by the vigiles in the same way as actors and prostitutes, she had a point. I might agree my trade was disreputable. Nevertheless, I said I had cases backed up, so on this occasion Laia would have to tell her smart friends on the Quirinal that I was unavailable.
People did not often say no to Laia. I really enjoyed doing so.
While she recovered, I added that I had a sickly husband who needed me; I was devoting myself to my role as a magistrate’s wife, looking after him. I relished that too, because when Laia had him he was too young to be an aedile, so she never possessed the social cachet that I had. With this dig, I left the room as if I had dinner napkins to count. Laia was only here today because of her old connection with Tiberiu
s. He could get rid of her.
He must have persuaded her to go. I hid myself in a store cupboard to avoid even having to say goodbye. When I came out, she was nowhere to be seen. Neither was he.
Annoying to the last, Laia had left a note-tablet plonked on a side table that gave the address of the family whose daughter had died. I could tell she had written it herself: the lettering was so neat I wanted to spill fish pickle over it, then give it to the dog to chew, if we’d had one.
Laia had raised her thinly pruned eyebrows in amazement at my rejection. She had a knack of making me feel crude. The fact that she must have brought this tablet with her, regardless of whether or not I was willing to accept the commission, made me rave even more. She had added unnecessary details (‘smart house by the fountain, it has a red door’) as if she thought I was incapable of finding places for myself, even though I spent my working life doing that, often with meagre directions. Her letters were slightly too large, her lines too straight. Her whole attitude was unbearable.
What bloody fountain, anyway?
I wished we did own a dog, one that would have run over to Laia and peed on her dress hem.
2
I could not find my husband.
Of course, this predicament is not new to wives. Men are good at sliding off, even if they have simply become absorbed in writing a complaint about street noise and forgot to tell you they went out for ink; however, since the incident with the lightning bolt, I had to take special care of mine. Being watched over so anxiously made him rebellious, although the pain he continued to suffer made him tetchy in any case. I was now used to flare-ups. In my opinion, I was handling it all commendably.